Tuesday 31 August 2021

NHRDN Mind Matters- Fireside Chat with Shaheen Bhatt, Author















Mind matters is a movement initiated by the National Human Resources Development Network (NHRDN) to spread awareness of mental well being at a time of increasing concern over mental health. The year 2021 was particularly challenging in view of Covid 19  continuing to affect the business and lives of employees. Mind matters organized eight sessions of online webinars between May 7th and June 25th  with the finale featuring Ms Shaheen Bhatt , author of the book "I've NEVER BEEN UNHAPPIER". She shared her challenges and experiences of dealing with depression. Writing the book, she says was like "deep acceptance of myself".  

Shaheen Bhat said that a feeling of sadness enveloped her around the age of twelve. There was a feeling of emptiness, insecurity,and pain that could not be explained. Other kids seemed to be happy. "what is wrong with me?" she asked herself. At age eighteen, when things got to a stage of being 'unbearable', she went to see a psychiatrist. At this time, the  depression  was characterized by sadness, anxiety and   perpetual fear of "what might happen?". There were feelings of lethargy and emptiness as if you are slowly dying away. Panic attacks took the form of feeling that you are having a heart attack.  

The speaker explained that in such a situation you tend to behave extremely either eating too much or too little. similarly either speaking too much or too little. There is a loss of appetite and  interest in anything. You suffer in a big way from the problem of insomnia. Shaheen said that the modern times / period that we are living in,  adds to the problem with constant messages coming from television and social media that "You are not good enough". There is a massive pressure to fit into the societal pressures such as requirement to be an extrovert (When basically by nature you may be a quiet person) or have zero size clothing. At this time to cope and come out of the situation, having a friend or family member  you can trust and rely on is very important. 

Shaheen was on medication for a period of four years. This was essential particularly because of the insomnia. Self care, talking to someone, doing exercises etc is good in this phase but is difficult to do. She spoke to her psychologist/ therapist for answers to questions like  " How to be comfortable with my weight?" and "How to handle everyday issues?". The speaker advised the audience to be open to seeing a therapist in such situations as it is good for everyone. The other methods recommended were journaling(expels the unwanted from your body), music, yoga and meditation as part of the self care. However, initially, meditation can be a big challenge when your mind is in a whirl. 

In spite of the realities staring at you, we live in a society which prefers to whitewash and pretend that nobody is ever anxious, nervous or fearful. Believe someone when he/she comes to you and says "I am depressed". They are not engaging in indulgence. Don't assume and harbour thoughts like " How can she who is comfortable economically and socially have depression?". All that they are asking of you is to listen to them without judgement. Perhaps, you can be physically present for them, accompany them during a visit to the clinic. 

Creating mental health awareness amongst the public is very important. Going to a therapist should be accepted as normal in the same way you see a doctor when physically sick. Strong support system is crucial for recovery. Here, empathetic listening (feel how they feel as you listen) without judgement is the key. Fed up with bottling up her real feelings one day, Shaheen decided to tell how she felt when having a  'bad day' and made a post on Instagram. 

According to her " I wanted to be done with pretending; instead wanted to express what I really felt inside".  Surprisingly, rather than condemnation, she got a lot of support from readers many of them unknown. A publisher then approached the speaker with a proposal for writing a book. It was then she realized that telling her story was important for the sake of others. It would be being 'selfish' if one did not come out of hiding and tell one's story. Thus it was that ""I've NEVER BEEN UNHAPPIER" happened.  Shaheen signed off with the observation " If it resonates with at least one person and  he/she is able to take charge of his/her  life, my job is done."  

It is precisely for this reason dear readers that I have chosen to cover the webinar and write this blog. If the basic message can go across that having mental health issues is normal in the 21st century and it is okay to see a therapist when needed, my purpose of writing this post would be served.

12 comments:

  1. Kudos to Shaheen Bhatt and Rajeev Sir for bringing this topic to the fore, speaking about which is generally taboo.

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  2. Thank you so much Mr Prabhakaran! Happy you liked the post.

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  3. Visiting a psychologist or psychiatrist is the same as visiting a physician or a specialist. Thanks for sharing the contents of the talk. I'm going to read the book. By the way, is the said talk of Shaheen available online for public?

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    1. Thank you for responding to the post Ravish. Yes, you can watch the webinar on Mind Matters NHRDN you tube channel.Best wishes!

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  4. Kudos to you Rajeev that you chose to write on this subject which goes often neglected. The mindset of the society that visiting a psychologist is something weird has to change.

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  5. Thanks a lot Pankajam for your appreciation and feedback! Happy you liked the post.

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  6. Guidance on mental well being is the need of the hour. An article which clearly spells out the need for a visit to P without creating a scare in the reader.
    Thanks for sharing Rajeev.

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    1. Thanks a lot Sundar for responding to this post and giving your feedback! Happy you related to the post.

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  7. Well reported. And we'll complemented.

    However, anything overdone could be bad. One must be sensitive to differentiate just a passing dull phase we all go through from a more serious long term depression needing therapeutic intervention. More so the therapist must have such sensitivity not to make a mountain of a mole hill or to brush away a mountain as a mere mole hill.

    A mistake, either way would cost the individual a lot.

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  8. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts Padmini! What you say is true for doctors treating physical ill health as well. Over reaction could end up on excessive prescription of harmful drugs while not responding adequately could mean the patient is in pain/ not finding relief for the problem.

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  9. Everyone is passing through unexplained anxiety and depression in the pandemic times with the remedy not in sight. Atleast one must have the courage to come out of this blue and your attempt is praiseworthy. 🦢🦆🦢🦤🐦🐍

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  10. Thank you sir for responding to this post. It is important for us to acknowledge and remove taboos associated with mental health so that action can be taken to address them.

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