Shaheen Bhat said that a feeling of sadness enveloped her around the age of twelve. There was a feeling of emptiness, insecurity,and pain that could not be explained. Other kids seemed to be happy. "what is wrong with me?" she asked herself. At age eighteen, when things got to a stage of being 'unbearable', she went to see a psychiatrist. At this time, the depression was characterized by sadness, anxiety and perpetual fear of "what might happen?". There were feelings of lethargy and emptiness as if you are slowly dying away. Panic attacks took the form of feeling that you are having a heart attack.
The speaker explained that in such a situation you tend to behave extremely either eating too much or too little. similarly either speaking too much or too little. There is a loss of appetite and interest in anything. You suffer in a big way from the problem of insomnia. Shaheen said that the modern times / period that we are living in, adds to the problem with constant messages coming from television and social media that "You are not good enough". There is a massive pressure to fit into the societal pressures such as requirement to be an extrovert (When basically by nature you may be a quiet person) or have zero size clothing. At this time to cope and come out of the situation, having a friend or family member you can trust and rely on is very important.
Shaheen was on medication for a period of four years. This was essential particularly because of the insomnia. Self care, talking to someone, doing exercises etc is good in this phase but is difficult to do. She spoke to her psychologist/ therapist for answers to questions like " How to be comfortable with my weight?" and "How to handle everyday issues?". The speaker advised the audience to be open to seeing a therapist in such situations as it is good for everyone. The other methods recommended were journaling(expels the unwanted from your body), music, yoga and meditation as part of the self care. However, initially, meditation can be a big challenge when your mind is in a whirl.
In spite of the realities staring at you, we live in a society which prefers to whitewash and pretend that nobody is ever anxious, nervous or fearful. Believe someone when he/she comes to you and says "I am depressed". They are not engaging in indulgence. Don't assume and harbour thoughts like " How can she who is comfortable economically and socially have depression?". All that they are asking of you is to listen to them without judgement. Perhaps, you can be physically present for them, accompany them during a visit to the clinic.
Creating mental health awareness amongst the public is very important. Going to a therapist should be accepted as normal in the same way you see a doctor when physically sick. Strong support system is crucial for recovery. Here, empathetic listening (feel how they feel as you listen) without judgement is the key. Fed up with bottling up her real feelings one day, Shaheen decided to tell how she felt when having a 'bad day' and made a post on Instagram.
According to her " I wanted to be done with pretending; instead wanted to express what I really felt inside". Surprisingly, rather than condemnation, she got a lot of support from readers many of them unknown. A publisher then approached the speaker with a proposal for writing a book. It was then she realized that telling her story was important for the sake of others. It would be being 'selfish' if one did not come out of hiding and tell one's story. Thus it was that ""I've NEVER BEEN UNHAPPIER" happened. Shaheen signed off with the observation " If it resonates with at least one person and he/she is able to take charge of his/her life, my job is done."
It is precisely for this reason dear readers that I have chosen to cover the webinar and write this blog. If the basic message can go across that having mental health issues is normal in the 21st century and it is okay to see a therapist when needed, my purpose of writing this post would be served.
